||[Apr. 17th, 2010|11:59 pm]
this was far more real than the rest of these hallucinations. there he was, hands out to catch me and then pulling me against his chest, it wasn't hard enough, that nagged at me at first then i pushed the thought away and drowned in him, the perfect recreation of his scent, the soft hair that fell against me, his husky voice saying something i didn't care to hear, something frantic, angry, and worried, something about fighting, something about struggling, demanding i do something i no longer could and no longer wanted to do. i felt something crack against my head, and then a far away scraping at my stomach, bubbles whipped around me but i couldn't follow their direction, there was no up anymore and my legs, too oxygen deprived to work anymore, wouldn't take me anywhere. then something was happening, he moved in, his pale pink lips so close, eyes wide open i moved too, flinching slightly when i realised what this would cost me when i woke up, my hair swirling in the hard current with his. the kiss was short, and i knew, i could feel the burning ache it cause, i knew the damage was done. and then we were sinking in the blackness, i was waiting for the sandy floor to plow into me but it didn't come, spots came into my vision and then i did something uncontrollable and absolutely foolish, i let what little air was caught in my cheeks and lungs out and gulped the cold water, taking it into my lungs were it tore at me and starved my brain. his cries and his anguished features weren't enough to make this awful, no it was far too lovely, far too beautiful now for that, it was comfortable until i became alert.
it wasn't water at all, there was road, road moving too fastv under me, scrapping at me horribly.