not so bad really, if you sink into the glowing sunlight filtering through the crape myrtle leaves. not bad really, if you think only of the beautiful crawling life outside, the roots forcing themselves upon ever deeper soil, the branches and buds reaching upwards in desperation. not bad, honestly, if you contemplate orchids, their reflective petals warming your room, or lilies with their almost sickeningly heavy scent. you think of them, so open, so perfumed; it is lewd really, lascivious blossoms with their sticky dripping stigma and their stamen so heavy with clods of pollen that drift at even the slightest brush of your fingers to the vase. licentious as only nature can be, laying it out so rough and beautifully.
suddenly you aren't counting the moments until you will be healthy. or what i called healthy. HA.